Labels

I feel like I struggle daily with my identity, and with putting a label on just who and what I am. I feel compelled to say that I am going to be a scientist one day, but what does that even mean? I’ve always felt that scientists were born, not made, but I feel like I don’t have it yet. I don’t know how to experiment, because I was never really taught how to. I have no real knowledge of statistical methods and the writing of research papers on advanced scientific topics. And worst of all is the fact that I sometimes don’t feel intelligent enough to pursue all of my interests, a crippling admission that continues to drive me as well as depress me.

Another struggle I have revolves around the idea of “manhood”. What does it mean to be a “man”? How do I act in situations involving women and how am I supposed to appear to others in general? Am I supposed to be an aggressor or am I supposed to appear passive and level-headed most of the time? Should I be as talkative and anxious and prone to emotional displays as I am, or are those “womanly” traits that I should make an effort to completely extirpate? Should I even be afraid of my effeminate side, or is it, ironically enough, considered more manly to be comfortable with everything I am?

And should I even worry about these labels? It seems like the only label we all should have is “human”. I feel like the happiest moments of my life are those when I’m deeply connected to my humanity, not to another arbitrary label.

About Me
My name is Dylan and I will sometimes have thoughts or ideas that may or may not be relevant to your life.